Zoolander 2001
How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.
The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years.
Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake!
He's almost too good looking. And that would put me off in terms of a relationship.
Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back.
I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.
And I plan on finding out what that is.
#c8e4bf5d / read by Shriram-60
Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade.
.. as the newly-elected prime minister has given this nation a gift of hope promising to raise the substandard minimum wage and end child labor once and for all.
Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast.
#b8ae4ece / read by Shriram-60
Hey kids, who wants to hear a story?
#b6b33b7d / read by Shriram-60
Already considered a living saint he has become this small country's greatest hope for a thriving future in the new millennium.
Hansel... so hot right now... Hansel.
#b26853d8 / read by Shriram-60
.. we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?
I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
#ada5a891 / read by Sreekanth-08
Look, I think I know what this is about and I'm complimented but not interested.
I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!
#a4423fa2 / read by Shriram-60
Hey, Derek, back on top, man.
#a3e3c9e3 / read by Shriram-60
Richard Gere's a real hero of mine.
#9ed0190a / read by Sreekanth-08
I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.
#9d6ee561 / read by Sreekanth-08
Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.
#9be3ada9 / read by Shriram-60
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
#9ae659ff / read by Sreekanth-08
.. I remember thinking 'wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.'
It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!
#97f186eb / read by Shriram-60
Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.
#9616fedc / read by Shriram-60
.. I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated.
You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything.
#93960008 / read by Shriram-60
I care desperately about what I do.
#931cf2ae / read by Shriram-60
Uhh, not as much as I'm worried about Gretel.
#906b973a / read by Sreekanth-08
I guess I have a lot of things to ponder.
#8b41397f / read by Shriram-60
Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too
How bout I answer your question with another question; how many abo-digitals do you see modelling?
Obey my dog!
#86b97d2e / read by Shriram-60
You can read minds?
#86494833 / read by Shriram-60
Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right?
#844b6bad / read by Shriram-60
As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!
#80b52a33 / read by Sreekanth-08
When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
#7dfbf3c2 / read by Shriram-60
What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
I'm not an ambi-turner.
#77fdb050 / read by Shriram-60
I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel, he's a male model.
#751769e7 / read by Shriram-60
Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
#6f7f9f57 / read by Shriram-60
I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.
#6ee3fbda / read by Shriram-60
What's the dealio, yo?
#6a800b0c / read by Sreekanth-08
I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey.
#694dc2de / read by Shriram-60
Why do you hate models, Matilda?
#66dec174 / read by Shriram-60
They're *in* the computer?
#657658e7 / read by Shriram-60
And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
But they won't be looking for... not us.
#646137c8 / read by Sreekanth-08
I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?
#5e722c8a / read by Shriram-60
I've been trying to reach you for a week.
#5e6695d0 / read by Shriram-60
Whatever dude... whatever. Peace. God Bless.
#58f9e749 / read by Shriram-60
I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree.
He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!
Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
And here in Malaysia, there is an almost overwhelming sense of euphoria ..
I hear words like 'beauty' and 'handsomness' and 'incredibly chiseled features' and for me that's like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of.
Yeah, that too, but Derek, you saved the prime minister of Malaysia!
#3bc9bd9f / read by Sreekanth-08
Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts.
Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
#3643dab0 / read by Sreekanth-08
Wait a minute. I might just have an idea.
#3024bcbc / read by Sreekanth-08
What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHING!
#2fc9a5f8 / read by Sreekanth-08
Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?
Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall.
But why male models?
#16a73330 / read by Subhajit-81
Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity.
Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that.