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Zombieland 2009

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You are scary happy.

#qt5093816-3 / read by VIVEK-96

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Well I will dig two graves: one for the big one and one for the little one.

#qt5093816-2 / read by VIVEK-96

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I hear when taking revenge, you're supposed to dig two graves.

#qt5093816-1 / read by Teja-84

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Well, take a look. It's a goddamn Hostess truck.

#qt4875494 / read by VIVEK-96

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Of course, it had to be a clown.

#qt3576291 / read by VIVEK-96

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Zombiism's carried in bodily fluids, and these fluids are highly contagious and fast acting when they mix with your fluids.

#qt3121162-2 / read by Shuja-34

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A zombie isn't a dead person who's just come back to life. It's someone who's been infected with the plague of the 21st century...

#qt3121162-1 / read by VIVEK-96

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Rule Number 2: Ziploc Bags... You have enough problems. Moisture shouldn't be one of them...

#qt3121152 / read by VIVEK-96

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I'm living the dream.I had always, my whole life wanted to brush a girl's hair over her ear.

#qt2613791 / read by VIVEK-96

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I'm sorry, he just gets me. But, _it's_ really sad.

#qt2430909 / read by Subhajit-81

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You can do anything you want to a man, but do not fuck with his Cadillac!

#qt1561823 / NSFW / read by Teja-84

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Probably nobody.

#qt1533314-2 / read by Subhajit-81

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My mama always told me someday I'd be good at something. Who'd a guessed that something'd be zombie-killing?

#qt1533314-1 / read by Teja-84

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No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.

#qt1518714-2 / read by Subhajit-81

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Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else's story?

#qt1518714-1 / read by Shriram-60

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Here's the deal: I'm not easy to get along with, and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch.

#qt1496440 / read by Teja-84

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The plague of the 21st Century, remember mad cow disease? Well mad cow became mad person became mad zombie.

#qt1492462-1 / read by ARCHANA-60

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Fasten your seat belts. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

#qt1376306 / read by Subhajit-81

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I haven't cried like that since 'Titanic.'

#qt1316453-2 / read by Subhajit-81

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Take away a man's son, you've truly given him nothing left to lose.

#qt1316453-1 / read by Shriram-60

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You have just survived the zombie apocalypse and drove half way across the country... where are you gonna go?

#qt1248144 / read by Teja-84

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The best thing is no more flushing. Epic.

#qt1238669-2 / read by Subhajit-81

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You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday. Who cares?

#qt1238669-1 / read by Teja-84

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Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this.

#qt1238667-4 / read by Shriram-60

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Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies.

#qt1238667-3 / read by Teja-84

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You're not a zombie, you're talking and... You're okay?

#qt1238667-2 / read by Shriram-60

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Bill Murray, you're a zombie?

#qt1238667-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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I don't believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?

#qt1238665-2 / read by Shuja-34

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And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland.

#qt1238664-2 / read by Teja-84

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Oh, America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people.

#qt1238664-1 / read by Teja-84

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Hop in the car, Evel Knievel. Let's go ride the rollercoaster.

#qt1102481 / read by Teja-84

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Or at least give you the intentional walk to first.

#qt1096766-3 / read by Subhajit-81

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Yeah. I mean you got the guts of a guppy but I could hit that.

#qt1096766-2 / read by Subhajit-81

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You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife.

#qt1050374 / read by Subhajit-81

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Hey, a little help with movin' the couch. We're makin' a fort.

#qt1041125 / read by Teja-84

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So do you have any regrets?

#qt1014280-6 / read by Subhajit-81

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It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker.

#qt1014280-5 / read by Akanksha-14

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If it means anything now, I am so sorry. It was just instinctive.

#qt1014280-4 / read by Akanksha-14

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I don't think we're gonna be able to stitch this.

#qt1014280-3 / read by Shriram-60

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Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can't believe I shot Bill Murray.

#qt1014280-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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Is that how you say hello where you come from?

#qt1014280-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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Don't swing, don't swing!

#qt1012795 / read by Subhajit-81

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Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there.

#qt1009864-1 / read by Shriram-60

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On behalf of all the eighth grade girls, I would like to dance with you.

#qt1008392 / read by Akanksha-14

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You see, He was in the ass-kicking business and...

#qt1007145 / read by Akanksha-14

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In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? 'Los submarinos.'

#qt1003978 / read by Akanksha-14

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Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.

#qt1003941 / read by Subhajit-81

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Have you ever read that book 'She's Just Not That Into You'?

#qt1003937 / read by Shriram-60

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Six people left in the world and one of them is Bill fucking Murray. I know that's not your middle name.

#qt1002672-4 / NSFW / read by Teja-84

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You know, I swear, I've seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles and just everything.

#qt1002672-3 / read by ARCHANA-60

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I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours.

#qt1002672-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal.

#qt1002672-1 / NSFW / read by Akanksha-14

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Oh, this is so exciting, you're about to learn who you're gonna call... it's Ghostbusters.

#qt1001429 / read by Akanksha-14

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I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.

#qt1001427-2 / read by VIVEK-96

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In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets.

#qt1001427-1 / read by Akanksha-14

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Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, Life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go... empty.

#qt1001425-3 / read by ARCHANA-60

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Not just any box of Twinkies, the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe.

#qt1001425-2 / read by ARCHANA-60

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There's a box of Twinkies in that grocery store.

#qt1001425-1 / read by Shriram-60

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You've got a pretty mouth.

#qt1001016 / read by Subhajit-81

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What do you think? 'Zombie Kill of the Week'?

#qt0997297 / read by Shriram-60

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Don't kill me with my own gun.

#qt0996279-5 / read by Subhajit-81

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Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.

#qt0996279-4 / read by Shriram-60

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Well, girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.

#qt0996279-3 / read by ARCHANA-60

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You got taken hostage by a 12 year old?

#qt0996279-2 / read by Shriram-60

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I'm really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger...

#qt0996279-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.

#qt0995917 / read by Shriram-60

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When Tallahassee goes Hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for 'not to be fucked with'.

#qt0995828 / NSFW / read by VIVEK-96

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I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.

#qt0995824-2 / read by ARCHANA-60

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Who's Bill Murray?

#qt0995824-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it...

#qt0995108 / read by Shriram-60

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Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?

#qt0995105 / read by Shriram-60

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Thank God for rednecks!

#qt0995101 / read by Shriram-60

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You wanna feel how hard I can punch?

#qt0995098-4 / read by Shriram-60

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There are no penguins on the North Pole.

#qt0995098-3 / read by Shriram-60

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You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year.

#qt0995098-2 / read by ARCHANA-60

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You know there's a place untouched by all this crap?

#qt0995098-1 / read by VIVEK-96

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Poor flat bastard.

#qt0994668 / NSFW / read by Subhajit-81

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I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.

#qt0994659 / read by Shriram-60

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The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.

#qt0994435 / read by VIVEK-96

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Fuck this clown.

#qt0994008 / NSFW / read by Shriram-60

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That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard, and you stole it from a movie.

#qt0993997-2 / read by Shriram-60

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I'm not great at farewells, so, uh, that'll do, pig.

#qt0993997-1 / read by ARCHANA-60

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You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

#qt0991606 / read by Shriram-60

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Time to nut up or shut up!

#qt0987329 / read by Shriram-60

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Have you never played the quiet game?

#qt0987328 / read by Shriram-60

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