That's kind of like firing someone over the Internet.

#fcab54dc / read by Saradha-18

To whom it may concern, I can't begin to count the number of people I've fired in my lifetime.

#fb64c023 / read by Asfiya-41

Protocol's always tricky.

#fb5b9709 / read by Saradha-18

All those negotiations and arguments, and secrets and compromises.

#fb37185b / read by Saradha-18

Your car, get it in there.

#fb2b33d7 / read by Selvimeena-70

Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em.

#f96ae46d / read by Saradha-18

Most students work the frier at KFC.

#f8acd075 / read by Selvimeena-70

Sometimes it feels like, no matter how much success I have, it's not gonna matter until I find the right guy.

#f7e59ee7 / read by Saradha-18

Then you start adding larger stuff, clothes, table-top appliances, lamps, linens, your TV.

#f6e3700c / read by Teja-84

Only this time, I want you to fill it with people.

#f448f289 / read by Saradha-18

I'm sorry I ruined your evening but you could've seriously screwed things up for me.

#f4131ace / read by Saradha-18

You don't think about that when you're younger.

#efe3804a / read by Selvimeena-70

And don't worry. I'm not gonna ask you to light it on fire.

#ef1ab62c / read by Selvimeena-70

This is what we do to ourselves on a daily basis.

#eebd09c7 / read by Selvimeena-70

Please, for the love of God, can I fire the next one.

#ee04a4c4 / read by Saradha-18

And make no mistake, moving is living.

#ecb1b2dd / read by Selvimeena-70

It doesn't work that way. At a certain point, you stop with the dead lines. It can be a little counter productive.

#ebab0a04 / read by Asfiya-41

In fact, let everything burn and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing.

#e74ac49f / read by Shobha-60

Someone who wants kids, likes kids. Healthy enough to play with his kids.

#e6c34739 / read by Selvimeena-70

Your resume says you minored in French Culinary Arts.

#e65668d3 / read by Dhruva-62

Pricks are spontaneous, they're unpredictable and they're fun.

#e5f39fbf / read by Saradha-18

White collar, 6'1, college grad, loves dogs, likes funny movies, brown hair, kind eyes, works in finance but is outdoorsy.

#df82f538 / read by Teja-84

I'm sorry what I said about Alex that was out of line.

#de2d9ce8 / read by Saradha-18

Photos? Photos are for people who can't remember.

#dc135973 / read by Nilima-98

Our business expense allots forty dollars each for dinner. I plan on grabbing as many miles as I can.

#d9c7c3af / read by Saradha-18

You get lifetime executive status. You get to meet the chief pilot, Maynard Finch.

#d90c8844 / read by Shobha-60

You know, honestly by the time you're 34, all the physical requirements just go out the window.

#d128e43d / read by Shobha-60

I don't want to say anything that is anti-feminist. I really appreciate everything that your generation did for me.

#cd157d93 / read by Saradha-18

How much did they pay you to give up on your dreams?

#cc1fb773 / read by Nilima-98

Tonight most people will be welcomed home by jumping dogs and squeling kids and thousands more will ask about their day and tonight they'll sleep.

#cafef42b / read by Teja-84

We are not swans. We're sharks.

#cac7749f / read by Dhruva-62

Life's better with company.

#c8688e53 / read by Nilima-98

Please let him earn more money than I do, you might not understand that now but believe me, you will one day otherwise that's a recipe for disaster.

#c38b7eda / read by Musaib-53

The promotions are great. You should check it out.

#b69e6312 / read by Brinda-85

Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically for a lifetime - star crossed lovers, monogamous swans.

#b4621d25 / read by Musaib-53

Yes, it was pretty lonely.

#b407a16d / read by Shriram-60

We've never met, but I know you'd be lucky to have Natalie Keener.

#b3e97ea8 / read by Shobha-60

Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life.

#b0e8d123 / read by Shobha-60

I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now try to walk.

#adad4d8c / read by Shobha-60

Wow. That was depressing.

#acf6611f / read by Shriram-60

Who am I giving out relationship advice right?

#ab4b820c / read by Brinda-85

Old people are worse. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left.

#ab2c993c / read by Musaib-53

Are you angry at your computer?

#a8d9617b / read by Brinda-85

Your home, whether it's a studio apartment or a two bedroom house.

#9d9f1946 / read by Dhruva-62

Kids love athletes because they follow their dreams.

#9a0d5028 / read by VIVEK-96

How much does your life weigh?

#97f6794c / read by Sojin-04

Electricity still on? Heat still on? Refrigerator still full of food? Gas tank full of gas?

#9678af90 / read by Musaib-53

If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... were you alone?

#95736d22 / read by Musaib-53

Okay, you got to fill me in on the miles thing. What is that about? You're talking about, like, frequent flyer miles?

#8f43039b / read by Musaib-53

The things on shelves and in drawers, the knick-knacks, the collectibles.

#8d31466e / read by Varsha-55

It's kind of exhilarating, isn't it?

#8c1c96e5 / read by VIVEK-96

I... followed a boy.

#8af78e77 / read by Shriram-60

What do you want to take out of it?

#857c54b1 / read by Shriram-60

The stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places; and one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over.

#828cfac4 / read by Musaib-53

We all fall for the pricks.

#8153edeb / read by VIVEK-96

Let's just say that I have a number in mind and I haven't hit it yet.

#80f1a7f8 / read by Dhruva-62

Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack.

#7edc8b93 / read by VIVEK-96

And then we're surprised when they turn out to be pricks.

#787f1ebd / read by VIVEK-96

No, that's why we love athletes.

#786daa66 / read by VIVEK-96

Feel the weight of that bag.

#780a6232 / read by Shriram-60

I always imagined he'd have a single syllable name like Matt or John or Dave.

#77bfd004 / read by Musaib-53

Five words - 'randomly selected for additional screening'

#7767a736 / read by Shriram-60

I was supposed to be driving a Grand Cherokee by now.

#6f606ada / read by VIVEK-96

And a nice smile.

#6de821b5 / read by Shriram-60

We weigh ourselves down until we can't even move.

#639f8ad3 / read by VIVEK-96

What were you thinking showing up at my door like that?

#632163ac / read by Deekshitha-72

We are not those animals. The slower we move, the faster we die.

#6270cdac / read by Chethan-21

Make no mistake - your relationships are the heaviest components in your life.

#61f643b6 / read by Musaib-53

I thought I'd be engaged by now.

#606fba52 / read by VIVEK-96

He broke up with you over text message?

#5ffca5ca / read by Deekshitha-72

Your couch, bed, your kitchen table. Stuff it all in there.

#5b2076b4 / read by Shriram-60

Well, life can underwhelm you that way.

#5a8c85ad / read by Sojin-04

Now, I'm gonna set that backpack on fire.

#594e756c / read by Shriram-60

I'd be the seventh person to do it. More people have walked on the moon.

#54313a97 / read by Chethan-21

Can you stop sounding condescending for one second or is that one of the principles of your bullshit philosophy?

#53c70ce3 / read by Musaib-53

I could have made it work, he really fit the bill, you know.

#521cc8aa / read by Chethan-21

All right. Okay, okay. All right. All right.

#51c647e8 / read by Arun-92

And they put your name on the side of a plane.

#4ed6c539 / read by VIVEK-96

You're so pretty. You're exactly what I want to look like in fifteen years.

#4d918c44 / read by Musaib-53

I'm a parenthesis?

#4a71d3f8 / read by VIVEK-96

I thought we signed up for the same thing... I thought our relationship was perfectly clear.

#433e64fa / read by Musaib-53

Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office, and then you move into the people that you trust with your most intimate secrets.

#4317c875 / read by Musaib-53

So, what are you saving up for? Hawaii? South of France?

#42f1375b / read by Silvi-67

You secretly pray that he'll be taller than you, not an asshole would be nice just someone who enjoys my company, comes from a good family.

#40760cfc / read by Musaib-53

You graduated top of your class. You could have had your pick of employment, including right here.

#3f8bd33b / read by Musaib-53

I don't spend a nickel, if I can help it, unless it somehow profits my mileage account.

#3f85cd86 / read by Musaib-53

You know that moment when you look into somebody's eyes and you can feel them staring into your soul and the whole world goes quiet just for a second?

#3e8ffcba / read by Musaib-53

It's not like that. The miles are the goal.

#38e72980 / read by Silvi-67

A nice smile. Yea, a nice smile just might do it.

#3860e9d4 / read by VIVEK-96

I've never seen a stroller collapse in less than 20 minutes.

#3647afe5 / read by Dhruva-62

I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders.

#35302700 / read by Silvi-67

And hopefully, some hair on his head. I mean, that's not even a deal breaker these days.

#3233a8c0 / read by Musaib-53

Your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your brothers, your sisters, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend or your girlfriend.

#32144065 / read by Musaib-53

Then you got out of college and started working here.

#3014cc0d / read by Silvi-67

In a perfect world, he drives a 4 runner and the only thing he loves more than me is his golden lab.

#2f7b4486 / read by Musaib-53

Now, this is gonna be a little difficult, so stay with me.

#2dff6220 / read by VIVEK-96

You guys don't grow up. It's like you need to pee on everything.

#2cacf69f / read by Varsha-55

The backpack should be getting pretty heavy now.

#2be8ce20 / read by VIVEK-96

I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.

#29a617bd / read by Sojin-04

Men get such hardons from putting their names on things.

#266dabbe / read by Arun-92

Never get behind people traveling with infants.

#2457b926 / read by Brinda-85

You get them into that backpack.

#22e1a9c5 / read by Silvi-67

Instead, you went to Omaha to... fire people for a living?

#210cba82 / read by VIVEK-96

I guess we've all done that at some point in our lives.

#1e46839a / read by Arun-92

No, I don't think of him that way; he's old.

#1bf1197e / read by VIVEK-96

How do you sleep at night? How's your family? They sleeping well at night?

#1acfbb21 / read by Varsha-55

Going to Chucky cheese this weekend or something?

#18f22e2c / read by Brinda-85

Everybody needs a Co-Pilot.

#16d0e2b4 / read by Arun-92

You start with the little things.

#0ee1b923 / read by Deekshitha-72

Yeah, Julie went back to the apartment, and I was just by myself in the honeymoon suite.

#0e26dfaf / read by Musaib-53

Brian left me.

#0df04e70 / read by Arun-92

Do you feel the straps cutting into your shoulders?

#0affc037 / read by Deekshitha-72

My advice? Take her and don't look back. She'll be the best decision you've made in a long time.

#08b0589d / read by Musaib-53

I thought I was a part of your life.

#0831cbd1 / read by Brinda-85

You know why kids love athletes?

#07bd3620 / read by Muskan-67

You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis.

#07b06383 / read by Musaib-53

You have a new backpack.

#0361ae42 / read by Arun-92

I thought by 23, I'd be married, maybe have a kid, corner office by day, entertaining at night.

#00570aad / read by Musaib-53