The truth is she has a nice face. I need to do something to take my mind off her. Easy enough, except I need an idea.

#qt3566856 / read by Shriram-60

I invented Facebook.

#qt3250508 / read by Shriram-60

I broke your 335-year old doorknob.

#qt3250257 / read by Shriram-60

No. I mean, she's actually psychotic. She's insanely jealous, she's irrational, and I'm frightened of her.

#qt2650395 / read by Shriram-60

A psychiatrist would have said he was paranoid.

#qt2231824 / read by Shriram-60

Pay them. In the scheme of things, it's a speeding ticket.

#qt1972290 / read by Shriram-60

This guy doesn't have three friends to rub together to have a fourth.

#qt1972289 / read by Shriram-60

Screw it! Let's gut the friggin' nerd!

#qt1972288 / read by Subhajit-81

The Internet's _not_ written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink.

#qt1666908 / read by Subhajit-81

I was drunk, and angry, and stupid...

#qt1535513 / read by Shriram-60

It's a little embarrassing so you should take it as a sign of trust that I would tell you that.

#qt1526118-2 / read by Shuja-34

You're asking me to believe that the CFO of Facebook doesn't know how to change his relationship status on Facebook?

#qt1526118-1 / read by Subhajit-81

I did, and I thought that was incredibly normal behavior.

#qt1526117-3 / read by Shriram-60

Or answer one of my 47 texts? Did you know I sent 47 texts?

#qt1526117-2 / read by Subhajit-81

Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I was tired and...

#qt1526117-1 / read by Subhajit-81

You don't have to be an intellectual property expert to understand the difference between right and wrong.

#qt1443789-4 / read by Subhajit-81

I was the U.S. Treasury Secretary. I'm in some position to make that call.

#qt1443789-3 / read by Shriram-60

You might just be letting your imaginations run away with you.

#qt1443789-2 / read by Subhajit-81

This isn't petty larceny. This idea is potentially worth millions of dollars.

#qt1443789-1 / read by Shriram-60

I'm just checking your math on that. Yes, I got the same thing.

#qt1408587 / read by Shriram-60

And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon?

#qt1408424-8 / read by Subhajit-81

The door guy? His name is Bobby. The door guy is a friend of mine, and he is a perfectly good class of people.

#qt1408424-7 / read by Teja-84

Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is because you used to sleep with the door guy.

#qt1408424-6 / read by Subhajit-81

Okay. Well I want to be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore.

#qt1408424-5 / read by Teja-84

I want to try to be straightforward with you and tell you I think you might want to be a little more supportive.

#qt1408424-3 / read by Teja-84

I was kidding. Although just because something's trite doesn't make it any less true.

#qt1408424-2 / read by Teja-84

Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be.

#qt1408424-1 / read by Narmadha-83

The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.

#qt1408423-3 / read by Subhajit-81

My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer, and Eduardo won't come close to getting in.

#qt1408423-2 / read by Narmadha-83

Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman?

#qt1408423-1 / read by Shriram-60

But, here's my question: how do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SATs?

#qt1408421-2 / read by Shuja-34

Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?

#qt1408421-1 / read by Teja-84

.. I could swear he was looking at you when he said 'The next Bill Gates could be right in this room'.

#qt1395604 / read by Teja-84

And Mark was the biggest thing on a campus that included 19 Nobel laureates, 15 Pulitzer prize winners, 2 future Olympians and a movie star.

#qt1371649-2 / read by Shuja-34

Everybody on campus was using it. 'Facebook me' was the common expression after two weeks.

#qt1371649-1 / read by Shuja-34

I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough.

#qt1370492 / read by Subhajit-81

You better lawyer up asshole, because I'm not coming back for 30%, I'm coming back for EVERYTHING.

#qt1370491-8 / NSFW / read by Teja-84

And I'll bet what you hated the most was that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which _I am_.

#qt1370491-7 / read by Narmadha-83

You had me accused of animal cruelty.

#qt1370491-6 / read by Teja-84

Sorry! My Prada's at the cleaners! Along with my hoodie and my 'fuck you' flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag!

#qt1370491-5 / NSFW / read by Teja-84

Did you think we were going to let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company?

#qt1370491-4 / read by Narmadha-83

It won't be like you're not a part of Facebook. You're not a part of Facebook.

#qt1370491-3 / read by Shuja-34

This is gonna be like I'm not a part of Facebook!

#qt1370491-2 / read by Teja-84

You're gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company?

#qt1370491-1 / read by Shuja-34

An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music.

#qt1365886 / read by Narmadha-83

We're genetically identical. Science says we'd stay in one place.

#qt1365882 / read by Narmadha-83

Perjury. Creation myths need a Devil.

#qt1363104-2 / read by Narmadha-83

I know that. When there's emotional testimony, I assume that 85% of it is exaggeration.

#qt1363104-1 / read by Narmadha-83

Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix club.

#qt1340668-3 / read by Narmadha-83

Because they're exclusive. And fun. And they lead to a better life.

#qt1340668-2 / read by Shuja-34

I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.

#qt1340668-1 / read by Shuja-34

Well, I founded an internet company that let folks download and share music for free.

#qt1339430 / read by Shuja-34

.. and Roy Raymond jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. Poor guy just wanted to buy his wife a pair of thigh-highs.

#qt1336178-7 / read by Shuja-34

Happy ending, right? Except two years later, the company's worth 500 million dollars

#qt1336178-6 / read by Narmadha-83

.. and after five years he sells the company to Leslie Wexner and the Limited for four million dollars.

#qt1336178-5 / read by Teja-84

Makes a half million dollars his first year. He starts a catalog, opens three more stores

#qt1336178-4 / read by Narmadha-83

He gets a $40,000 bank loan, borrows another $40,000 from his in-laws, opens a store, and calls it Victoria's Secret.

#qt1336178-3 / read by Subhajit-81

He comes up with an idea for a high end place that doesn't make you feel like a pervert.

#qt1336178-2 / read by Narmadha-83

A _Stanford_ MBA named Roy Raymond wants to buy his wife some lingerie but he's too embarrassed to shop for it at a department store.

#qt1336178-1 / read by Narmadha-83

We can do that ourselves. I'm 6ft5, 220, and there's two of me.

#qt1335467-3 / read by Acharya-92

No, I want to hire the Sopranos to beat the shit out of him with a hammer!

#qt1335467-2 / read by Narmadha-83

What, do you want to hire an IP lawyer and sue him?

#qt1335467-1 / read by Shriram-60

I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.

#qt1331784-1 / read by Narmadha-83

Bosnia. They don't have roads, but they have Facebook.

#qt1326254 / read by Subhajit-81

College kids are online because their friends are online, and if one domino goes, the other dominos go, don't you get that?

#qt1323918-7 / read by Teja-84

The users are interconnected, that is the whole point.

#qt1323918-6 / read by Acharya-92

If those servers are down for even a day, our entire reputation is irreversibly destroyed!

#qt1323918-4 / read by Shriram-60

Without money the site can't function. Okay, let me tell you the difference between Facebook and everyone else, we don't crash EVER!

#qt1323918-3 / read by Subhajit-81

Do you realize that your actions could have permanently destroyed everything I've been working on?

#qt1323918-2 / read by Varshitha-18

Do you realize that you jeopardized the entire company?

#qt1323918-1 / read by Subhajit-81

.. but at the moment I could buy Mt. Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club, and turn it into my ping-pong room.

#qt1323748-2 / read by Shuja-34

Ma'am, I know you've done your homework and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life ..

#qt1323748-1 / read by Subhajit-81

You're not an asshole, Mark. You're just trying so hard to be.

#qt1323628 / NSFW / read by Shriram-60

We lived on farms, then we lived in cities, and now we're going to live on the internet!

#qt1321520 / read by Shriram-60

A million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? A billion dollars.

#qt1320496 / read by Acharya-92

And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.

#qt1317384-3 / NSFW / read by Teja-84

But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd.

#qt1317384-2 / read by Teja-84

You are probably going to be a very successful computer person.

#qt1317384-1 / read by Shriram-60

Your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars.

#qt1316844-3 / read by Acharya-92

I went to my friend for the money because that's who I wanted to be partners with.

#qt1316844-1 / read by Shriram-60

Seven different people spammed me the same link.

#qt1316761 / read by Acharya-92

Did I adequately answer your condescending question?

#qt1313892-7 / read by Shriram-60

The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room .. are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.

#qt1313892-6 / read by Teja-84

You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount.

#qt1313892-5 / read by Teja-84

.. but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie.

#qt1313892-4 / read by Shuja-34

I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try ..

#qt1313892-3 / read by Teja-84

I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition, and I don't want to perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.

#qt1313892-2 / read by Teja-84

_Mr. Zuckerberg_, do I have your full attention? Do you think I deserve your full attention?

#qt1313892-1 / read by Narmadha-83

As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board.

#qt1307237 / read by Teja-84

If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.

#qt1307235-2 / read by Shriram-60

You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this.

#qt1307235-1 / read by Shriram-60

The site got twenty-two hundred hits within two hours?

#qt1307141 / read by Shriram-60