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The Martian 2015

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So, now that NASA can talk to me they won't shut up.

#qt5912286 / read by Teja-84

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Your gonna leave me hanging? You're going to leave me hanging? Getting down in space?

#qt5486371-6 / read by Teja-84

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And a few world records too.. WHAT'S UP!

#qt5486371-5 / read by Teja-84

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_If_ this was a normal mission you'd be breaking about thirty rules. But this isn't a normal mission.

#qt5486371-4 / read by Teja-84

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Knock it off Beck. It's a small ship I know everything.

#qt5486371-3 / read by Teja-84

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Do you understand how dangerous that is? If one seal breaks you die.

#qt5486371-2 / read by Teja-84

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It's the only place where I can sleep without anyone tripping me, so.

#qt5486371-1 / read by Akanksha-14

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OK, point the camera at 'yes'.

#qt5304397 / read by Teja-84

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Bring our astronauts home.

#qt4684306-4 / read by Akanksha-14

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When this is over I'll expect your resignation.

#qt4684306-3 / read by Teja-84

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I'm trying to keep us airborne. It's bigger than one person.

#qt4684306-2 / read by Teja-84

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We're fighting the same war. Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly.

#qt4684306-1 / read by Akanksha-14

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You may have killed them, Mitch.

#qt4684247-2 / read by Teja-84

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Whoever gave them the maneuver only passed along information. Crew made the decision on their own.

#qt4684247-1 / read by Teja-84

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Yeah. Yeah, my father was a Hindu, my mother's a Baptist, so, yeah, I believe in several.

#qt3011830 / read by Akanksha-14

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You want to send him into space under a tarp?

#qt3001356-6 / read by Subhajit-81

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By the time the ship is going fast enough for air resistance to matter, it'll be high enough that there will be practically no air.

#qt3001356-5 / read by Akanksha-14

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The hull is mostly there to keep air in. Mars' atmosphere is so thin, you do not need a lot of streamlining.

#qt3001356-4 / read by Akanksha-14

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You want to send a man into space without the front of his ship?

#qt3001356-3 / read by Shriram-60

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Sure. The nose alone is four hundred kilograms.

#qt3001356-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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You want to take the front of the ship off?

#qt3001356-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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Which means we need to make the MAV lighter. A lot lighter. Five thousand kilograms lighter.

#qt3001355-5 / read by Subhajit-81

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The MAV is only designed to enter low Mars orbit. So in order for Mark to escape Mars' gravity entirely to intercept with Hermes...

#qt3001355-4 / read by Teja-84

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The Hermes, can't enter Mars orbit, otherwise they will never have enough fuel to make it home.

#qt3001355-3 / read by VIVEK-96

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Yeah. The problem is the intercept velocity.

#qt3001355-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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Okay, um, I'm going to start by stating for the record, you are not going to like this.

#qt3001355-1 / read by Akanksha-14

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We still have a chance to bring five astronauts home safe and sound. I'm not risking their lives.

#qt3001336-2 / read by VIVEK-96

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So what, we either have a high chance of killing one person, or a low chance of killing six people. How do we make that decision?

#qt3001336-1 / read by VIVEK-96

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All natural, organic, martian-grown potatoes. You don't hear that every day, do you?

#qt2999711-4 / read by Shriram-60

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I dug them up being careful to leave their plants alive. The smaller ones I'll reseed, the larger ones are my food supply.

#qt2999711-3 / read by VIVEK-96

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They grew even better than I expected. I now have 400 healthy potato plants.

#qt2999711-2 / read by Shriram-60

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It's been 48 sols since I planted the potatoes. So now it's time to reap and re-sow.

#qt2999711-1 / read by VIVEK-96

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I made the mistake of typing it into Google. Don't.

#qt2968380-2 / read by Subhajit-81

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I just had to explain to the President of the United States what a beaurocratic felcher is.

#qt2968380-1 / read by VIVEK-96

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Okay. Well, I'm going to need a change of clothes...

#qt2943923 / read by Subhajit-81

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I have some news. There's no subtle way to put this; Mark Watney's still alive.

#qt2902848 / read by Shriram-60

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My God, Commander, could you have not brought something from this century? No, I won't 'turn the beat around,' I refuse to.

#qt2902220 / read by VIVEK-96

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The truth is that Mark's right. The longer we wait, the worse it's going to get. We need to tell the crew.

#qt2902209-1 / read by Akanksha-14

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Well... tell that asshole: no barrel rolls!

#qt2882413 / NSFW / read by Subhajit-81

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Houston... six crews... safely aboard.

#qt2869174 / read by Subhajit-81

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Don't tell anyone I did that.

#qt2846320 / read by Subhajit-81

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I'm sorry, Martinez, but if you didn't want me to go through your stuff, you shouldn't have left me for dead on a desolate planet.

#qt2788950 / read by VIVEK-96

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Should we alert the media?

#qt2777364-3 / read by Subhajit-81

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Oh, wow. Did everybody hear that? Mark just discovered dirt.

#qt2777364-2 / read by VIVEK-96

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All right team, stay in sight of each other. Let's make NASA proud today.

#qt2777364-1 / read by Shriram-60

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It has been *seven days* since I ran out of ketchup!

#qt2759979 / read by Subhajit-81

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I do like the way it sounds. I mean, I like it a lot. I'm not gonna tell them that.

#qt2753357-8 / read by Shriram-60

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So they're only doing that in the hopes that I won't raise any objections to this lunacy ..

#qt2753357-7 / read by VIVEK-96

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And by the way, physicists, when describing things like acceleration do not use the word 'fast'.

#qt2753357-6 / read by VIVEK-96

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Actually it's worse than that, because I won't even be able to control the thing.

#qt2753357-5 / read by VIVEK-96

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Yeah, I get to go faster than any man in the history of space travel, because you're launching me in a convertible.

#qt2753357-4 / read by VIVEK-96

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Like it'll distract me from how insane their plan is.

#qt2753357-3 / read by Subhajit-81

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They just keep repeating 'go faster than any man in the history of space travel', like that's a good thing.

#qt2753357-2 / read by Shriram-60

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I know what they're doing. I know exactly what they're doing.

#qt2753357-1 / read by Shriram-60

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Let's go get our boy.

#qt2700946 / read by Subhajit-81

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Mark, please watch your language. Everything you type is being broadcast live all over the world.

#qt2693330 / read by Shriram-60

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And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?

#qt2659215-5 / read by Akanksha-14

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You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next.

#qt2659215-4 / read by Teja-84

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That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math.

#qt2659215-3 / read by Teja-84

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This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work.

#qt2659215-2 / read by Teja-84

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And that's one you need to know, going in, because it's gonna happen to you. This is space. It does not cooperate.

#qt2659214-2 / read by Teja-84

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The other question I get most frequently is. When I was up there stranded by myself, did I think I was gonna die? Yes, absolutely.

#qt2659214-1 / read by Teja-84

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Now pay attention, because this could save your life. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

#qt2659212 / read by VIVEK-96

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I mean, do you realize the shit storm that is about to hit us?

#qt2655634-3 / read by Shriram-60

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Turns out he's alive and we left him on Mars. Our bad. Sincerely, NASA.

#qt2655634-2 / read by Shriram-60

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Dear America, remember that astronaut we killed and had a really nice funeral for?

#qt2655634-1 / read by Shriram-60

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The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first!

#qt2648857-7 / read by Subhajit-81

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The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars.

#qt2648857-6 / read by Subhajit-81

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I'm the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars.

#qt2648857-5 / read by Teja-84

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Kick a rock? That rock hadn't moved in a million years!

#qt2648857-4 / read by Subhajit-81

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Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill!

#qt2648857-3 / read by Teja-84

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Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there!

#qt2648857-2 / read by Teja-84

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It's a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I'm the first.

#qt2648857-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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I'm the first person to be alone on an entire planet.

#qt2645223 / read by Teja-84

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Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly.

#qt2645222 / read by Shriram-60

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Who am I to talk about loneliness?

#qt2645221 / read by Subhajit-81

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None of this matters at all if I can't find a way to make contact with NASA.

#qt2645220 / read by Shriram-60

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Mars will come to fear my botany powers.

#qt2645219 / read by Subhajit-81

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I'm not gonna die here.

#qt2645218 / read by Subhajit-81

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I'm gonna need more coffee

#qt2643186 / read by Subhajit-81

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So I'm going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition... makes me a pirate. Mark Watney: Space Pirate.

#qt2643181-4 / read by Akanksha-14

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Now, NASA is an American non-military organization, it owns the Hab. But the second I walk outside I'm in international waters.

#qt2643181-3 / read by VIVEK-96

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By another treaty if you're not in any country's territory, maritime law aplies. So Mars is international waters.

#qt2643181-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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I've been thinking about laws on Mars. There's an international treaty saying that no country can lay claim to anything that's not on Earth.

#qt2643181-1 / read by Teja-84

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I'm gonna get back to work here just as soon as my ears stop ringing.

#qt2641035-3 / read by Akanksha-14

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Best guess, I forgot to account for the excess oxygen that I've been exhaling when I did my calculations because I'm stupid.

#qt2641035-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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So, yeah, I blew myself up.

#qt2641035-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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I admit it's fatally dangerous, but I'd get to fly around like Iron Man.

#qt2641018 / read by Subhajit-81

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Luckily, in the history of humanity, nothing bad has ever happened from lighting hydrogen on fire.

#qt2641012-2 / read by Akanksha-14

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I've got to make a lot more water. The good thing is, I know the recipe: You take hydrogen, you add oxygen, and you burn.

#qt2641012-1 / read by Akanksha-14

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If none of those things happen, I'll eventually run out of food and starve to death.

#qt2641011-4 / read by Shriram-60

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If the hab breaches, I'll just kind of implode.

#qt2641011-3 / read by Subhajit-81

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If the water reclaimer breaks down, I'll die of thirst.

#qt2641011-2 / read by Shriram-60

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If the oxygenator breaks down, I'll suffocate.

#qt2641011-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially colonized it. So, technically, I colonized Mars.

#qt2641008 / read by Akanksha-14

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I don't want to come off as arrogant here, but I'm the greatest botanist on this planet.

#qt2641002 / read by Teja-84

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Yes, there are assholes who just don't care, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who do.

#qt2597032-6 / NSFW / read by VIVEK-96

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This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception.

#qt2597032-5 / read by Akanksha-14

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If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies.

#qt2597032-4 / read by Shriram-60

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If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood.

#qt2597032-3 / read by Subhajit-81

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If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search.

#qt2597032-2 / read by Shriram-60

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Every human being has a basic instinct: to help each other out.

#qt2597032-1 / read by Subhajit-81

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In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option. I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.

#qt2575479 / read by VIVEK-96

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Hi, I'm Mark Watney and I'm still alive... obviously.

#qt2575478 / read by Subhajit-81

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