I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.

#qt0481954-a / read by Shriram-60

First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...

#qt0481954-b / read by Shriram-60

For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars...

#qt0481954-c / read by Acharya-92

And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street...

#qt0481954-d / read by Shriram-60

Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...

#qt0481954-e / read by Acharya-92

_And the_ first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird...

#qt0481954-f / read by Teja-84

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world.

#qt0481954-g / read by Acharya-92

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...

#qt0481954-h / read by Acharya-92

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...

#qt0481954-h / read by Teja-84

And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it.

#qt0481954-i / read by Shriram-60

And then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...

#qt0481954-j / read by Acharya-92

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

#qt0481954-k / read by Acharya-92

Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?

#qt0481949-a / read by Shriram-60

Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars.

#qt0481949-b / read by Acharya-92

Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars.

#qt0481949-b / read by Teja-84

Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of.

#qt0481949-c / read by Teja-84

And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.

#qt0481949-d / read by Teja-84

Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT.

#qt0481949-e / read by Shriram-60

Someone pass the asparagus, please.

#qt0481949-f / read by Teja-84

We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.

#qt0481921 / read by Shriram-60

Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.

#qt0481943 / read by Acharya-92

I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.

#qt0481936-a / read by Shriram-60

I think you just became my personal hero!

#qt0481936-b / read by Acharya-92

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it.

#qt0481934-a / read by Narmadha-83

And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes.

#qt0481934-b / read by Acharya-92

I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever.

#qt0481934-c / read by Shriram-60

Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember...

#qt0481934-d / read by Acharya-92

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

#qt0481934-e / read by Acharya-92

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

#qt0481934-e / read by Teja-84

It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.

#qt0481959 / read by Acharya-92

Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.

#qt1157193 / read by Shriram-60

It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back.

#qt0481984 / read by Acharya-92

It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back.

#qt0481984 / read by Teja-84

Well, actually, Janine is Senior Drive-thru Manager so you are on her turf.

#qt0482002 / read by Acharya-92

Management wants you gone by the end of the day.

#qt0481932-a / read by Shriram-60

Well, just what sort of severance package is management prepared to offer me?

#qt0481932-b / read by Narmadha-83

Man, you are one twisted fuck.

#qt0481932-c / read by Shriram-60

Nope; I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.

#qt0481932-d / read by Teja-84

Are you trying to look unattractive?

#qt0481916 / read by Shriram-60

I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.

#qt0481924-a / read by Shriram-60

Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?

#qt0481924-b / read by Acharya-92

Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right.

#qt0481977-a / read by Shriram-60

I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated.

#qt0481977-b / read by Shriram-60

But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.

#qt0481977-c / read by Teja-84

Good. I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility.

#qt1444725 / read by Teja-84

No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me.

#qt0481961-a / read by Teja-84

This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts.

#qt0481942 / read by Acharya-92

Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's.

#qt0481920 / read by Shriram-60

In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times.

#qt0481962 / read by Acharya-92

Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way.

#qt0481950 / read by Teja-84

She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself.

#qt0481973 / read by Acharya-92

My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs. Never underestimate the power of denial.

#qt0481941 / read by Shriram-60

Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

#qt0481937 / read by Shriram-60

Well, I see you're smoking pot now.

#qt0481952-a / read by Shriram-60

I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter.

#qt0481952-b / read by Shriram-60

You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak.

#qt0481952-c / read by Shriram-60

Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.

#qt0481926 / read by Acharya-92

I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.

#qt0481928 / read by Acharya-92